FBI Releases 2016’s Top Predictors Of Adult Criminality By State/Region

kids

New Jersey: Mom deemed emotionally unfit for cast of “Real Housewives Of New Jersey”.

New England: Inserts “wicked” before every adjective, adverb.

Southwest: Grandma’s house is a meth lab.

Deep South: Being heavily recruited to play linebacker at Auburn University.

California: Relatives from Mexico visit via tunnel under living room.

Idaho/Oregon/Montana: Family reunion monitored by SPLC Hate Group Task Force.

Great Lakes: Paternity established during parents’ appearance on “The Steve Wilkos Show”.

Missouri: See: “Southwest”.

Great Plains: Lives in Leavenworth, KS to be near Dad.

New York: Last name is Gotti.

Florida: Family moved here for a fresh start away from all the drama back home

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