FBI Releases 2016’s Top Predictors Of Adult Criminality By State/Region

kids

New Jersey: Mom deemed emotionally unfit for cast of “Real Housewives Of New Jersey”.

New England: Inserts “wicked” before every adjective.

Southwest: Grandma’s house is a meth lab.

Deep South: Being heavily recruited to play football at Auburn University.

California: Travels back and forth to Mexico via tunnel under living room.

Idaho/Oregon: Family’s annual reunion monitored by SPLC Hate Group Task Force.

Great Lakes: Paternity established during parents’ appearance on “The Steve Wilkos Show”.

Missouri: See: “Southwest”.

Great Plains: Moved to Leavenworth, KS to be near dad for next four-to-nine years.

New York: Last name is Gotti. #2 – Mother’s maiden name is Gotti.

Florida (TIE): Family is “Hoping for a fresh start here away from all the drama back home,” OR, family has lived in East Palatka for several generations.