Donald Trump Opens Thursday Cabinet Meeting With Remarks On Death Of Aretha Franklin

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“I want to start by taking a moment to say how very, very, uh, well, sad’s not the wordbut, sure, I’ll admit it, I was a little, uh, surprised to hear that Aretha Franklin had passed away.

(Pauses)

She’s pushing up the daisies now, as we used to say.

(Pauses)

The Queen, they called her, I guess. What’s that? The Queen of Soul. Ahh. Got it. Yeah, she did have soul…..but they all do, don’t they? I mean, even my head of the department of, uh, housing and, you know, the urban, uh, people…..Ben Carson…..the very great Doctor Ben Carson. Where is he? There he is. Yeah, even Ben Carson. Here’s a guy who went to Yale, he’s an Ivy League guy. And when he talks, he could be you or me, by the way – he’s very articulate. But, I bet you get Ben out on the dance floor and that soul – it’s just in the blood. You know what I mean?

(Pauses)

That’s a compliment, by the way. The fake news media will try to make it sound like I just said something insensitive, ok? The headlines will be TRUMP’S A RACIST and all that garbage.

Here I am giving the blacks CREDIT – this is a good thing, not a bad thing – I’m giving them credit that they’re all pretty slick when it comes to shuffling down at the nightclubs and what not. And, still, the Washington Post will attack me.

(Pauses)

So, Aretha. Yeah. Well, they said it was cancer but you know it was only a matter of time with all the weight she put on. I mean, when she was younger, she was a little heavy, but then she just ballooned, didn’t she? I hired her to do a show in the 90s at the Trump Taj Mahal and, I gotta be honest, I never would have had her perform if I’d known what she looked like ahead of time. I mean, she must have weighed 400 pounds.

But, I suppose some of them need it to give ’em that big voice, though, right? The fat British broad – she’s built like that. What’s her name? Adele? Maybe Adele’s the new queen of soul now, I suppose. A white queen of soul. I don’t know. Sure, why not?”